social development
by mikez0r on Sep.04, 2007, under Philosophical musings
Here’s a bit of speculation from conversation with a friend today. She’s a bit younger than me, but is experiencing much of the same stuff I did earlier in life – I like to be with people, and I have a great time when I am. However, I am terrible at initiating any of that contact. What’s worse is that without that contact, I get paranoid that friends are abandoning me. It’s a very vicious degenerative loop. I’ve tried pretty hard lately to get better at it, and it’s getting easier, but still awkward. I find it interesting that the capability to initiate social contact is definitely distinct from ability to interact with others, and I’m curious how many other people have issues initiating like I do.
September 17th, 2007 on 02:58
here. present. big buggering yes.
September 19th, 2007 on 19:00
Well, you already know how I feel about this stuff. I’m constantly proposing ideas, but I have difficulty following through. I just can’t seem to get over the idea that once I bring it up it’s in their court…just wishful thinking I guess, but I am realizing that I must take initiative. The only problem is, I don’t want to. But I look back at my social development and I see how quiet I used to be. Slowly I forced myself to talk – to take on that chit-chat/get-to-know-you phase, and I forced myself for a long time. Even now I still feel it, but I’m also surprised to find how often it feels so much more natural now. I’m supposing these things progress in stages and therefore I can only hope the rest is still to come. I am trying. Everyone tells me to try more, but I am trying.